Why some people seem to never fail?

When was the last time you failed at work?

Some people will answer right away having fresh in mind the last time they missed a deadline, did something wrong in a presentation or couldn’t deliver a report. No matter how much experience and knowledge we have, some of the things we do won’t have the desired outcome.

Some people instead will not be able to answer this question. This is not because they never fail, but because they almost don’t have this word in their vocabulary. They approach failure in a different way and somehow they manage to concentrate on the next thing they want or need to do. These are usually the people we consider successful.

So, coming back to the first question: Why some people seem to never fail?

One of the reasons is because they have a different attitude towards failure.  

Failure is normal and we can control it

Failure is most of the times a matter of expectations and perspective. It’s up to us to consider a setback the end of the world or a phase in reaching what we want.

Instead of being frustrated about having failed, a much more constructive approach is to say: '' I couldn't succeed this time. What could I do better next time?''

Take responsibility

Blaming others will not help. This will position us in the role of the victim from which is hard to get out. As we can't control what others think or do, the only attitude that will bring us forward is to take responsibility for what happened and figure out what WE should've done differently.

Learn the lessons

It is vital that we don’t repeat the same mistakes especially in a professional context. This can only be done when we are ready to find out the factors that led to our inability to complete a project or assignment properly.

Accept the failure and ask for help if necessary

Not being successful in a situation will not take anything from what we are as a person. This is what most people don't understand and therefore will try to hide or never accept their mistakes. Overcoming our setbacks instead will make us grow and add value to our professional and personal experience.

Asking for help from our team members is a matter of trust. We need to trust that they will be willing to help. At the same time asking for their help will consolidate the trust within the team.  

Move on

The time spent thinking at our failure after realizing what we could have done differently, is a wasted time.

All the compassion of our colleagues and friends, all the bad feelings and frustrations that we have will not actually make us get out of the situation. What will bring us forward is a positive attitude and the confidence that the experience gained will make us ready for the new challenges.

''I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.'' Thomas A. Edison

The road to our goals and the people along the way

A few years ago I have heard "The story of the tiny frog" and I always think of it when it comes to achieving goals. Here is the story:

The Story Of The Tiny Frog

There once was a bunch of tiny frogs who got together to arrange a competition to reach to the top of the highest tower in town.
As the date for the competition was announced, the news spread everywhere and crowd in large numbers gathered around the tower to see this interesting competition and cheer on the contestants. The crowd did not really believe any of these little frogs were going to make it to the top of the tower. Yet they were curious…The competition began, the frogs quickly started to ascend and the crowd cheered!
As a few moments passed, someone from the crowd shouted, "Not a chance that they will succeed! The tower is too high!"
Another spectator said, "Yes, they will never make it to the top. It's way too difficult!"

As the competition continued, some of the tiny frogs began collapsing. One by one… tired… exhausted… But the race continued… as those who still had the fight left, passionately continued to climb higher and higher…
In the excitement and anxiety  the crowd continued to yell, "It is too difficult. No one will make it!"

More tiny frogs got tired and gave up. They all continued to give up one by one, until there was only ONE little frog left in the competition who continued to climb higher and higher and higher…
This one wouldn’t give up!
This one tiny frog who, after a big effort was the only one who reached the top! This little soul was the winner! He made it! He got the glory!

Naturally, everyone wanted to know how this one tiny frog managed to pull it off when every other contestant gave up. Everybody wanted to know how this tiny frog had found the strength to reach this goal that everyone else thought it was impossible. So, they asked questions.

It turned out that the winner was deaf.

The Moral Of The Story: Be deaf when people tell you that you can not fulfill your dreams and goals.  

I would say it´s better to stay away from these people or at least donˋt share your plans or goals with them.

Even if they actually have good  intentions and they donˋt want us to get hurt or demotivated if we donˋt reach our goals, their negative attitude might make us start doubting our own abilities and eventually give up our goals or lower our target.

On the other hand, those people who have a positive attitude, even if they are thinking our goals are too high they will not discourage us. Instead they will share their relevant experience, try and help us make a plan, give us ideas on where to get more information or how to reach our target and even boost our self confidence. These people know that reaching the goal is not the most important thing, but what you learn on the way. They are the ones who will help us grow and who we will always remember with gratitude.

What kind of people do you have around?

How many of them encourage you achieve what you want and are supportive?

How do you handle the ones who under the excuse of being realistic, are telling you how hard it will be for you to get what you want and that it would be better to have lower expectations and goals?  

And how about you? Are you telling others: "You will never make it to the top. It's way too difficult!"?

3 things we can do instead of complaining

In everyone of us there is a little complainer. 

Every now and then we find ourselves complaining about different things in our lives. We complain about all kind of things like weather, politicians, our financial situation, partners, our managers, colleagues, jobs, neighbours and the list can go on.

What is all the complaining for? 

Maybe for attention, sympathy or validation. Maybe because it's easier to complain than to find a solution, maybe to avoid responsibility or just because we might think it's a good conversation starter. 

Since we spend so much time at work, this is also most of the time a great source of reasons for complaining: colleagues, management, offices, policies, AC, equipment, coffee, Mondays, working hours, parking places, cleaning person and about so many other things. Whatever the reasons are, if we do it too often we will not even realize that it has become part of our attitude. It has become a habit and we have become complainers. 

Complainers usually transmit negative feelings, they are pesimistic and they are not open to think about solutions. If in the private life we can choose the persons we spend time with, at the workplace we can't always do this.  

Since it doesn't make  much sense to try and change the people around us, here is what we can do so that we don't end up being a complainer.  

Generally there are three healty things we can do about unpleasant situations: 

• Change the situation. We do something right now or make a plan that will help us change the situation and make it better in the future,
• Totally accept the situation. We take the things as they are and we will not have negative thoughts or complain about it.
• Leave the situation. We consciously decide to move on and leave behind  the things, environment or people related to the bad experience.                                                                                            (Eckhart Tolle, The power of now)

If we find ourselves in a situation we don't like, the worst thing we can do to ourselves and to the people around us is to stay in the same situation and complain.

Just complaining will not bring anything good.

Women's career and 21st century solutions

Women and work. Women rights. Women discrimination. These are some of the worldwide always actual topics.

Gender equality, salary differences based on gender discrimination, women and top management positions, modern slavery, domestic abuse, right to property, harassment are still issues affecting the women of the 21st century.

During the whole 19th century, women had no political rights though there had been some movement in other areas to advance the rights of women. By the early 19th century, acceptable occupations for working women were limited to factory labor or domestic work. Writing and teaching where the only professions where women were not excluded from. In some European countries,  until 1965 married women did not receive the right to work without their husband's permission. Later on, despite their increased presence in the work force, most women still had primary responsibility for housework and family care.

A crucial issue for many women was maternity leave, or time off from their jobs after giving birth. Although in most states, a full-time worker was entitled to time off and a  job when she returned, only a few states by the early 1990s required the leave to be paid.

Today many women are continuing to strive for their career and at the same time to build up a family. They don't only want a job, they want their merits to be recognised, to get management roles and to eliminate salary gaps based on gender discrimination. They want to be independent, to decide for their life and actions.  

Companies who are chasing valuable candidates have noticed how strong  this social trend has become and some of them came up with measures that are meant to encourage women to focus on their career by postponing their family life. 

Two of these companies are Apple and Facebook. Recently, the two international companies announced that they are or will pay the egg freezing for the employees who are interested in this procedure. This was presented to the public as a great benefit that is responding to the needs of the employees.

It seems to be the perfect solution for those who have to or want to postpone the childbirth.

However, I can't stop thinking at the actual message behind this program.

What are the employers encouraging? Is this going to be a relief for the employees or it will actually put more pressure on them?

In my opinion, the fine print text that comes with this program is: "A woman's career is not being compatible with motherhood. Therefore we help you to postpone the childbirth as much as possible and concentrate on work ".

How about paying for nannies, flexible working time or home office in the first 1 - 2 years after the baby's birth, longer parental vacation for the father and programs to encourage fathers to get more involved in their parental activities, creating or supporting a kindergarten near the company?

Arenˋt these types of measures the ones which truly encourage and support families and career?

In my opinion they are and they should be used and promoted as much as possible. These are also the measures who will help companies to gain the loyalty and commitment from the employees.

Although things are going in the right direction, it will still take lots of effort for our society to get to the point where women are not discriminated because they are young and want to have both career and family.

A change in the pulic mentality has to happen, politics needs to set the ground rules and the employers need to change their perspective on family vs. commitment to the company.