3 things we can do instead of complaining

In everyone of us there is a little complainer. 

Every now and then we find ourselves complaining about different things in our lives. We complain about all kind of things like weather, politicians, our financial situation, partners, our managers, colleagues, jobs, neighbours and the list can go on.

What is all the complaining for? 

Maybe for attention, sympathy or validation. Maybe because it's easier to complain than to find a solution, maybe to avoid responsibility or just because we might think it's a good conversation starter. 

Since we spend so much time at work, this is also most of the time a great source of reasons for complaining: colleagues, management, offices, policies, AC, equipment, coffee, Mondays, working hours, parking places, cleaning person and about so many other things. Whatever the reasons are, if we do it too often we will not even realize that it has become part of our attitude. It has become a habit and we have become complainers. 

Complainers usually transmit negative feelings, they are pesimistic and they are not open to think about solutions. If in the private life we can choose the persons we spend time with, at the workplace we can't always do this.  

Since it doesn't make  much sense to try and change the people around us, here is what we can do so that we don't end up being a complainer.  

Generally there are three healty things we can do about unpleasant situations: 

• Change the situation. We do something right now or make a plan that will help us change the situation and make it better in the future,
• Totally accept the situation. We take the things as they are and we will not have negative thoughts or complain about it.
• Leave the situation. We consciously decide to move on and leave behind  the things, environment or people related to the bad experience.                                                                                            (Eckhart Tolle, The power of now)

If we find ourselves in a situation we don't like, the worst thing we can do to ourselves and to the people around us is to stay in the same situation and complain.

Just complaining will not bring anything good.

Women's career and 21st century solutions

Women and work. Women rights. Women discrimination. These are some of the worldwide always actual topics.

Gender equality, salary differences based on gender discrimination, women and top management positions, modern slavery, domestic abuse, right to property, harassment are still issues affecting the women of the 21st century.

During the whole 19th century, women had no political rights though there had been some movement in other areas to advance the rights of women. By the early 19th century, acceptable occupations for working women were limited to factory labor or domestic work. Writing and teaching where the only professions where women were not excluded from. In some European countries,  until 1965 married women did not receive the right to work without their husband's permission. Later on, despite their increased presence in the work force, most women still had primary responsibility for housework and family care.

A crucial issue for many women was maternity leave, or time off from their jobs after giving birth. Although in most states, a full-time worker was entitled to time off and a  job when she returned, only a few states by the early 1990s required the leave to be paid.

Today many women are continuing to strive for their career and at the same time to build up a family. They don't only want a job, they want their merits to be recognised, to get management roles and to eliminate salary gaps based on gender discrimination. They want to be independent, to decide for their life and actions.  

Companies who are chasing valuable candidates have noticed how strong  this social trend has become and some of them came up with measures that are meant to encourage women to focus on their career by postponing their family life. 

Two of these companies are Apple and Facebook. Recently, the two international companies announced that they are or will pay the egg freezing for the employees who are interested in this procedure. This was presented to the public as a great benefit that is responding to the needs of the employees.

It seems to be the perfect solution for those who have to or want to postpone the childbirth.

However, I can't stop thinking at the actual message behind this program.

What are the employers encouraging? Is this going to be a relief for the employees or it will actually put more pressure on them?

In my opinion, the fine print text that comes with this program is: "A woman's career is not being compatible with motherhood. Therefore we help you to postpone the childbirth as much as possible and concentrate on work ".

How about paying for nannies, flexible working time or home office in the first 1 - 2 years after the baby's birth, longer parental vacation for the father and programs to encourage fathers to get more involved in their parental activities, creating or supporting a kindergarten near the company?

Arenˋt these types of measures the ones which truly encourage and support families and career?

In my opinion they are and they should be used and promoted as much as possible. These are also the measures who will help companies to gain the loyalty and commitment from the employees.

Although things are going in the right direction, it will still take lots of effort for our society to get to the point where women are not discriminated because they are young and want to have both career and family.

A change in the pulic mentality has to happen, politics needs to set the ground rules and the employers need to change their perspective on family vs. commitment to the company.